♡Slut Shaming♡

An issue that has been around for a while now that always makes me frustrated is slut shaming. It's not just the ignorant that tend to do it either - I know so many pro-feminist women who have many a bad thing to say about a woman's choices which is ridiculous because there are so many people out there, especially the patriarchal society that we live in, that limits our choices as women and shame us for making choices that they don't approve of themselves.

So for those that don't know what slut shaming is, it is when people judge women for having sex with "too many people", having sex with people that "aren't their partner" and even for wearing particular things or acting a particular way. When it comes to costumes, clothing, and sexual behavior, women are judged by a very different rubric than men. This is not to say that men are't judged at all, because of course they are to some degree but if a woman is to have a lot of sex people label her as a "whore", “dirty”, "slut", etc and many people believe that women with these labels don't deserve to be treated with respect and they also believe that this means they can say whatever they want about that woman or to that woman.

Obvisouly when it comes to men some people may use the terms “manslut” or “manwhore” but the consequences for the  man being called these things are not nearly as extreme and they are not disrespected nearly as much as women who are called similar names. He won’t be degraded, bullied, or have lies and rumours spread about him and his reputation won’t be destroyed in response because I mean, c'mon, that's just what men do right? They can't and shouldn't control their urges, right? They're just sex crazy right? No no no no no. Patriarchy is damaging to men as well as women because of these ideas.

Slut shaming is another way of controlling women and telling them what they are and are not allowed to do. Women who slut shame each other is an example of internalised sexism which is harmful when it comes to women's relationships with each other. After all, women are in this together and instead should be helping each other instead of harming each other.
Slut shaming pits women against each other and creates a divide. Instead of building women up and cultivating healthy friendships, slut shame turns women against each other so that the slut-shamer can prove she’s “not like that” and therefore worthy of respect.  It puts women into harmful categories based on nothing more than how someone dresses or is perceived by others.

It also limits women's freedoms and choices because if a woman "breaks the rules" in regards to how you or society believes, for some bizarre reason, they have to dress and have to behave then you are basically saying that they don't have the same rights as men and cannot do what they want unless they want to "pay the price".

An alarming fact is that because people see “sluts” as unworthy of respect, people believe that they are therefore not entitled to say no.  In this mentality, “sluts” become a target of harassment, assault, and even rape.  After the violence, the woman is occasionally blamed for it.  After all, she was just a dumb slut….she asked for it, right?

I am interested to hear what you guys think!

Lots of love,